Breaking the Cycle: A Mother's Plea for Family Healing and Personal Growth

In this deeply personal and heartfelt blog post, a mother shares her journey of self-discovery and growth following a tragic loss. She addresses her children and readers alike, highlighting the importance of breaking unhealthy cycles, embracing love, and striving for personal and familial healing. A must-read for anyone seeking to understand the intricacies of love, regret, and the possibility of change.


There is a pressing issue that weighs heavy on my heart, one that I feel I must address. Not just for my own sake, but for the sake of my children and anyone else who may find themselves in a similar situation. This is a tale of love lost, mistakes made, and the urgent need for self-awareness and personal growth.

Love, in its most authentic form, is a beautiful and profound emotion. It has the power to uplift us, to make us feel seen and valued, and to bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment to our lives. But love, much like any other emotion, requires understanding, acceptance, and nurturing from both parties involved. Without these, love can quickly turn into a source of pain and regret.

My personal journey with love has not been an easy one. The passing of Dave, a man who truly loved me for who I am, served as a harsh wake-up call. His death left a void in my life, and stirred a deep self-reflection that I had long been avoiding. I realized that I had been pushing him away, focusing on his imperfections and mistakes rather than cherishing the love he offered. My past, my roots, and my long-held perceptions had blinded me to the love that was right in front of me. This realization has been a painful pill to swallow, and it's a lesson I wish to pass on to my children.

My dear ones, I see you making the same mistakes I made, and it scares me. I see you seeking validation from people who may not have your best interests at heart. I see you feeling confident in your choices, without fully understanding the consequences. This is not your fault; your minds are still growing, and you are still learning about the world and yourselves. But I fear that the adults who should be guiding you are instead reinforcing these misguided behaviors.

As your mother, I feel a deep sense of responsibility for this. I realize that I have failed to provide you with the guidance and nurturing you need to navigate life's challenges. This failure, I fear, has already set you on a path towards addiction and mental health struggles - cycles I desperately want you to avoid. The guilt and regret I feel for this are immense, and I am committed to making changes for the better.

In our family, we have been programmed to act and react in certain ways - ways that are not healthy or productive. This programming is not unique to our family; it is a cycle that repeats itself in families across the world. But just because it's common doesn't make it right. We need to break this cycle, to change our programming, and to heal ourselves.

Breaking these cycles requires honesty, self-reflection, and the willingness to seek help when needed. Therapy can be an invaluable tool in this journey. It provides an opportunity to understand ourselves better, to confront our fears and insecurities, and to learn healthier ways of thinking and behaving.

I want to stress that this journey is not easy. It requires a great deal of strength and determination. It is a journey that I am still on myself. The loss of Dave forced me to confront my own brokenness and toxicity. It made me realize just how much healing I still had to do. But it also gave me hope. It showed me that change is possible, that it's never too late to become a better version of ourselves.

My dear children, I want you to understand that right now, we are a broken family. But being broken doesn't mean we can't be fixed. It doesn't mean we can't learn, grow, and become better. We have the power to change our narrative, to break the cycle, and to build a healthier, happier future for ourselves. But it requires effort from all of us.

In order for us to heal, we need to break down the walls that we've built around ourselves. We need to learn to let people love us, to accept love without fear or hesitation. Only then can we truly find happiness and fulfillment.

I want to apologize to you, my children, for the mistakes I've made. I wish I could have protected you from this pain, but I can't change the past. All I can do is learn from it and strive to do better. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help you understand the importance of self-awareness, self-reflection, and personal growth.

To anyone who may be reading this, I implore you not to make the same mistakes I did. Cherish the love you have, and don't let fear or past experiences blind you to it. Be patient with yourself and others, and remember that it's never too late to change and grow. Life is too short for regrets, so let us learn from our mistakes and strive to do better. Let's break the cycle, for the sake of ourselves and the ones we love.